So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
it glows. i had to have it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
