I love black thongs
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
