i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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