totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
