So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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