Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
