Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Success! We fucked roommates!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
