My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
