I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
