I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize