Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I want to fling myself into the sun
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
