C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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