So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
