bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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