i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
