If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
