i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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