Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Everyone says I win the strip club
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
