worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My bed smells like the plague
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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