being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
