I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I will be naked everywhere
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
