i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
