my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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