I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
