i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
