he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
