I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
