your room smells of hookers.
And success
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
