Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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