once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
