He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
