One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
