On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
