singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize