too bad you live with your parents still
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
