Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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