your thong is hanging out like whoa
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
