he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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