Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
