there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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