Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
