glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I forgot how hot balto sounded
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize