covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
