Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I smell like Dick and happiness
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
