i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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