I would go down on you faster than GM stock
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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