So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
