Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
