You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
