Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
