so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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