I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
