woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
