You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
