You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
