LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
