WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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