dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
