Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
