im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
