I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
